6am

A trip to the beach is refreshing, it's cleansing, the most natural form of therapy in the world. It cleans wounds- spiritually, emotionally and mentally. It's dense with energy, a natural energy that is omnipotent, omnipresent.

When life gets ridiculously crazy and I get completely overwhelmed I always turn to a 6am beach trip. It's usually 'organised' spontaneously. I text Steph it goes along the lines of 'I need to go to the beach'. It's a way of saying 'my life is a mess, I'm currently a messy brain, a messy head and my bedroom is just as bad... help.' The forty minute drive is nearly as good as jumping in the water. It consists of a variety of music. You can take a pick from my 42 mix tapes that are permanently located in my glove box. There's one called 'probably don't listen to it' (this is usually one direction and taylor swift) or another called 'Elena's go to hippy, gypsy, happy disc' or 'ghetto times' which features beyonce and kanye and an assortment of R&B and rap. My favourite part is when we go through Oxford Falls, it's any person's dream home destination, located with a farmland like feeling but only a 10 minute drive to the beach and not to mention the view which looks out onto the ocean.

Jumping into salt water is pure bliss. I've always felt this way. The ocean is a place where I can reconcile. A place where my thoughts can be forgotten and I can connect with something that is the closest thing I can find to magic. It makes me smile and beam with happiness.

In the sun, the water can sparkle and glisten. And the sunrise and the sunset... it's absolute magic.

Tata for now, Elena x

4 Things I've Realised in 2014

This year has been an absolute whirlwind, as I've mention various times before and through hardships and failures and happiness and loss I've had a few imperative learning curves. I have incurred some major changes in my life and reflection and hindsight are wonderful things...here we go.

1. You can learn from loss.

I can't deny that loosing someone you love is one of the most hardest times in your life. Mourning and grief is universal and as the five psychological stages pass, you can realise that such a weary emotional and mentally straining process can turn into a positive lesson. I learnt a great deal of resilience. Resilience during the moments when it was too hard to talk, to write, to communicate. Resilience when everyday, a pile of emotional baggage was dumped onto an already impending heap. 

But I learnt a lesson, a personal coping mechanism that when life gets tough, it's gets easier when you become increasingly more positive and resilient. 

2. Being optimistic isn't as bad as people tell you it is.

Me, being self disciplined and planned and linear is not easy and I've always been told that is a terrible characteristic for a person to have... It requires a lot of self control, something that I lack in. I believe that when you go with the flow, when things are unplanned and full of spontaneity, you have the ability to live your life to the full extent. It allows you to do things naturally, you ignite yourself through the things you love and the things you incidentally find yourself passionate about. I feel energized. And I haven't embraced this characteristic until November 2014 and it's honestly created a lot more for me. I think people who know me personally can agree that sponteneity makes everything all that much more exciting. My life has its own energy, as does yours and when it is abused, we feel lost and feel the need for unesecary control. 

3. Meditation is powerful.

When the chaos and calamity of the real world gets too much, meditation has the ability to place me in a state of calm, stillness and consciousness whereby I can gain a sense of relaxation from being psychologically  and spiritually centered. I used to view it as a 'hippy- herby thing' and underestimated its power. With the recommendation from good friends when times got increasingly overwhelming, it worked, most of the time, to aid reasonable and relative  thinking. 

4. Spending time alone is a good thing.

I preach this most indefinitely. It is underestimated. The most advantageous way to think and reconsider and reevaluate. My favourite thing to do is to go surfing. To drive for an hour to Freshwater beach with my music blasting , to slip into my wetsuit, grab my board and paddle out the back. I find the water therapeutic... I find nature therapeutic but the water is my safe haven. And as much as I hate being the only girl surfing, I sit and wait for the perfect wave and I have some time to think. 

Minds change like the weather and I hope you'll remember one thing: today is never too late to create something brand new.

Elena, x

Death

I'm sorry for this extremely morose post.
I guess it's about acceptance...?





Death....

The inevitable, the only thing we know for sure, the only thing I know for sure is that at some point I will die. We will all die because it is inevitable.

I've never been extremely fond of the concept of death, it never really appealed to me (big woop) and I never really thought that far into it.

Until March... through the loss of a loved one.

I'm an incredibly optimistic person, almost too optimistic, too hopeful if that could ever be a bad thing? You wouldn't really think it is, but I'm no longer sure.

Now, I don't have a religious belief system. I 'm agnostic. I mean I obviously believe in feminism and gender equality and human rights but there is no 'supreme being' of who has great influence over my worldview, my values and furthermore, answers to my existential questions. I would probably deem this an overriding factor in my quest for acceptance in regards to death. I, personally have no idea what lies beyond the death of a loved one, let a lone anyone or myself... humanity. I've been brought up with christian values regarding the importance of family, education and trust however I haven't 'conformed' . Being in primary school and moreover, the growth into an adolescent teenager I have been influenced by the secular views of my friends and teachers. I was never able to find that 'connection' with god and christianity, it never appealed to me and never reeled me in to a point where it pervaded and dominated.

At the moment I am on a cliche' journey to discover how to centre myself as a person and find fulfilment and stability psychologically and after I have achieved that I will then move on to establish an answer to my existential questions. By no means will it take 5 days or 3 months, 15 years or my whole life, I may never actually figure it out, but if it's a learning experience then I'm definitely up for it.

I am definitely a logical person when it becomes to reality and my own life, I always search for logic and direction. I think it is why this troubles me so much but on the other hand, it also means that I can't put all of my faith in a religion unless I deem it logical.... and we all know religion isn't necessarily logical (others may beg to differ and that it absolutely fine). I have been exposed to christianity, I live in a conventional suburb where we are defined by the countless churches that surround the area, we are claimed to be the 'bible belt' but being only 17 years old I have not yet had the opportunity to explore other religions. I am exceedingly intrigued by Hinduism and Buddhism and Judaism and Modern Paganism. One day I plan to travel and experience these different cultures and their religions and even if I don't decide that they are relevant, at least I can feel some sense of fulfilment in that I have given myself the opportunity to explore.

Maybe then my subconscious fear of death can be concurred....

Tata for now.

Elena, x

http://www.theguardian.com/world/gallery/2013/mar/28/holi-festival-week-pictures

Holi festival week – in pictures

The Holi festival or festival of colours is celebrated on the full moon day in the month of Phalguna and marks the start of the spring season. The tradition of playing with colours draws its roots from a legend of Radha and the Hindu god Krishna.

SELF PROMOTION OPPORTUNITY

Hi Everyone....

I thought I'd just let you know that an extension of the exploration of my fabulously, brilliant, intelligent, superior, extraordinary self (please don't be oblivious to sarcasm) is on a personal and photography instagram page.

A little bit of self promotion here. But also a way to get to know me better. I love the way that photo's communicate the persona of an individual...

@elenamayphotography- 

The gorgeous Alana at monument beach. You know, just casual mid-hair-do-tying. 

@elenamayphotography- 

Bondi

@elenamayphotography- 

Manyana, NSW South Coast

@elenamayphotography- 

A photo from a hike from Taronga Zoo to Balmoral Beach and back.

@elenamayphotography- 

A little banana head at monument beach

@elenamayphotography- 

After tonnes of experimenting I have finally perfected poached eggs even if no one in my family trusts me enough to eat them....

@elenamayphotography- 

Durras

@elenamayphotography

@elenamayphotography- 

@elenamayphotography- 

Boofy doing some shell collecting.

@elenamayphotography- 

@elenamayphotography- 

Art major work planning.