The Power of Genuine People

I think it's the undeniable giggles where your expressions are suppressed under a puffed breath that expresses optimal laughter, proving to be the epitome of true friendships.

With a good friend of mine (you know who you are), we have had countless conversations regarding the art and importance of finding good friendships and discovering and exploring different connections with different people in your life... It has become seemingly obvious since finishing school, which people add meaning and value to my life. The people who understand you, understand the 'real' you, the you without a facade, without a mask.

I believe that you have several soul mates, they pop into your life for a reason- male and female, different class, different race: soul mates are the people who you instantly understand, who instantly understand you. At age 18 I have found a few soul mates, about 4 to be completely honest. These people I can expose everything to. My vulnerabilities... Everything. I can't be submissive of my other friends, they still mean the absolute world to me, they inspire, encourage and have shaped the person I am today. I have a unique connection with each and everyone of them. 

This blog post has been in my journal for a long time... It's now time to post. Before I was scared of the reaction of other people and what they would think. Especially knowing that old friends and gme public read it (I think). I'll scare some people off, hurt and intrigue some. 

The shy and introvert elena will come out, even if it is online... Not that it counts so much, don't worry I know. 

I'll have an epiphany soon and write another on the same topic....

Elena, x

(Writing this from a cafe in Paris- Saint Germaine- the man beside me is trying to read my journal).

A Treacherous Journey to Self Fulfillment

It's the distinctive smell of the sterilized seats, overused pillows and vacuum packed food that disturbs me the most. The fact the it is so very hard to not breathe in the stench of the persons breath next to you and the constant fight for the arm rest when you are reluctantly positioned in the middle seat. Or the fact that only the privileged receive exemplary service and chocolate covered peanuts because first class is only for the very very wealthy. The mere fact that the only way to get to a country full of vibrant culture is on a plane, jam packed with over 300 people, all on their own selfish mission and personal journey. 

I'm a teenager, an adult? (By law...), a young girl who's only just out of school and hasn't even had the chance to explore the world... Our world. I know nothing. I'm so inedequate in comparison to others. I hold no power, no authority. I'm just living, floating along just how everyone else is.... Unfortunately. This is probably my number 1 internal conflict, the one thing I want to change, I mean there are so many things that  I want to change. To name a few, poverty, the ultimate cure for cancer, feminism and gender equality? 

Over the last year I have been through a hell of a lot... 1 HSC, 3 funerals... 3 deaths, 1 robbery, countless breakdowns.... I'm a strong optimist and a strong believer in 'everything happens for a reason' and I believe that over the last 12 months I have grown significantly as a person. All of this heartache and suffering, it can't have been all for nothing...?

Weirdly, it was the costraphobic feeling of being stuck on an aeroplane that made me think and reconsider... If you know me personally I do this more often than not. It helps me put things in perspective, something which I definitely aspire to do more often. I am such a miniscule part of our society....

There's my brain vomit #1 on this blog.

TATA for now,

Elena, x.