Death

I'm sorry for this extremely morose post.
I guess it's about acceptance...?





Death....

The inevitable, the only thing we know for sure, the only thing I know for sure is that at some point I will die. We will all die because it is inevitable.

I've never been extremely fond of the concept of death, it never really appealed to me (big woop) and I never really thought that far into it.

Until March... through the loss of a loved one.

I'm an incredibly optimistic person, almost too optimistic, too hopeful if that could ever be a bad thing? You wouldn't really think it is, but I'm no longer sure.

Now, I don't have a religious belief system. I 'm agnostic. I mean I obviously believe in feminism and gender equality and human rights but there is no 'supreme being' of who has great influence over my worldview, my values and furthermore, answers to my existential questions. I would probably deem this an overriding factor in my quest for acceptance in regards to death. I, personally have no idea what lies beyond the death of a loved one, let a lone anyone or myself... humanity. I've been brought up with christian values regarding the importance of family, education and trust however I haven't 'conformed' . Being in primary school and moreover, the growth into an adolescent teenager I have been influenced by the secular views of my friends and teachers. I was never able to find that 'connection' with god and christianity, it never appealed to me and never reeled me in to a point where it pervaded and dominated.

At the moment I am on a cliche' journey to discover how to centre myself as a person and find fulfilment and stability psychologically and after I have achieved that I will then move on to establish an answer to my existential questions. By no means will it take 5 days or 3 months, 15 years or my whole life, I may never actually figure it out, but if it's a learning experience then I'm definitely up for it.

I am definitely a logical person when it becomes to reality and my own life, I always search for logic and direction. I think it is why this troubles me so much but on the other hand, it also means that I can't put all of my faith in a religion unless I deem it logical.... and we all know religion isn't necessarily logical (others may beg to differ and that it absolutely fine). I have been exposed to christianity, I live in a conventional suburb where we are defined by the countless churches that surround the area, we are claimed to be the 'bible belt' but being only 17 years old I have not yet had the opportunity to explore other religions. I am exceedingly intrigued by Hinduism and Buddhism and Judaism and Modern Paganism. One day I plan to travel and experience these different cultures and their religions and even if I don't decide that they are relevant, at least I can feel some sense of fulfilment in that I have given myself the opportunity to explore.

Maybe then my subconscious fear of death can be concurred....

Tata for now.

Elena, x

http://www.theguardian.com/world/gallery/2013/mar/28/holi-festival-week-pictures

Holi festival week – in pictures

The Holi festival or festival of colours is celebrated on the full moon day in the month of Phalguna and marks the start of the spring season. The tradition of playing with colours draws its roots from a legend of Radha and the Hindu god Krishna.